I am home

On Monday afternoon, my husband, my stepfather, and I made the long drive from New Haven to Central Virginia so we could return home for Thanksgiving to see our families. It’s really lucky that both my husband’s and my parents live in the same county, so we can always have Thanksgiving together. My father and his new family also live in that same county too, but I’ve never had Thanksgiving with him for as long as I can remember. When I think about that too much, I feel strange and sad.

But it’s really happy being here with my mother, my stepfather, my little brothers, and my little sister. I miss them so much when I’m up in the Northeast far away from home. Although it’s been just a few months since I saw them last, there’s an odd combination of new and familiar. My older younger brother was offered a job at a major aerospace company, so he might be starting there soon as soon as they finish all the forms. My younger younger brother is applying for increasingly prestigious summer programs for musical performance. My little sister started preschool and learned to play nicely with other children. Even with these big life changes, they’re all still the same people who I love and care about deep down.

My little sister’s preschool put on a holiday musical performance and “play” (the teacher read from a book and the little kids did sound effects) this morning. I sat in the front; when it was time for all the preschoolers to get on the stage, my little sister ran to sit in my lap instead and refused to join the others. She’s really attached to me, which is sweet at her age. A couple of other preschoolers were in a similar situation where they were inseperable from their mothers. But even when she was sitting in my lap, she did the “lines” for her part and sang along with the songs. It was really sweet and cute. I hope next year when she’s in kindergarten she’ll feel ready to join the others.

It’s nice being on vacation. I don’t have to worry about classes or assignments, the endless stream of doctor’s appointments, or even having to cook my own food for myself, haha. I can wander into the cold mountain wilderness if I want, I can see the stars without light pollution, I can sit by the fireplace and update my website (as I am doing now), I can spend as much time with fluffy and friendly animals as I want…

My mother’s rabbit had two little babies who haven’t opened their eyes yet; they’re already covered in a thick layer of downy fur and wiggle around in a warm nest box together. I wish that I could have a pet again, but my apartment is too small to accomodate anyone other than me and my husband. When I get better and graduate, I’ll move somewhere else and keep a rabbit or maybe a cat. It’s still a little sad to think about having a cat again. So I’ll focus on being happy.

This year, both my family and my husband’s family wanted to host Thanksgiving, so the compromise was for both of them to have a Thanksgiving dinner on consecutive days. My parents will have a vegetarian Thanksgiving (my older brother is vegetarian and both my mom and stepdad were bitten by the tick that makes you allergic to meat) on Thanksgiving day, and then the next day my husband’s family will have a more traditional-style Thanksgiving dinner. Because it’s on a Friday, they’re also able to invite my brother-in-law’s girlfriend’s family, who I’m looking forward to meeting. And because the menu will be so different on each day, I don’t think there will be any feeling of comparison or competitiveness on the part of anyone. I’m really looking forward to celebrating together with everyone. As I get older, family holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving become more and more important to me.

In a completely unrelated news, I finished this digital painting of Satoko a while ago. I’m only just now putting it on my website because I spent a while agonizing over which drawings of mine are good enough to host on my site. Most of the drawings I have remain perpetually unfinished, or they’re just silly pictures that I didn’t take too seriously when working on.

It’s a pastiche of “The Fallen Angel” by Alexandre Cabanel. I started working on it in Procreate, but switched to Heavypaint, which I prefer for finishing paintings.

A lot of people may disagree with me here, but I really liked Higurashi Gou/Sotsu. I watched it with the bonus chapter Saikoroshi in mind, and interpreting it that way made the story very sensible and understandable without any character assassination in my perspective. But I’m a very magic-is-allegory-for-something-real type of person when it comes to the When They Cry series.

If I finish more drawings, I might create a gallery page for my site too. But that requires finishing another drawing, haha.